


Is Thomas a Bad Person?

by Emyvio



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Blood and Injury, Brainwashing, Everyone Needs A Hug, Force-Feeding, Forced Infantilism, Gen, Humiliation, Kidnapping, Mentions of Drowning, Mind Control, NO rape, No Sex, No Smut, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-sexual use of 'Daddy', Patton takes his role of 'Friendly Father Figment' way too seriously, Post-Episode: Putting Others First - Selfishness v. Selflessness Redux | Sanders Sides, Scratching, Self-Harm, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Unsympathetic King Creativity, Unsympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, Yandere-ish Patton, forced age play, mentions of fear of hypnosis, non-consensual clothing change, someone else controlling your movements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25390345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emyvio/pseuds/Emyvio
Summary: Takes place 18 months after SVS Redux (POF) and ignores anything that happens after it (FWSA, etc).After breaking up with his boyfriend of 12 months, Thomas starts to consider himself a bad person. Because of this, all of his sides are changed. Virgil, not wanting to be what he once was, works to change everyone back. After being coldly rejected by Thomas, Virgil realizes that he no longer has any sway in Thomas’ decision making. Virgil must reclaim his power by individually helping each side. It doesn’t help that Janus is the only one that wants to be fixed.Kindness will not be the answer to this problem. Can Virgil muster the courage to do what's right, even at the cost of everyone he holds dear?
Comments: 68
Kudos: 127





	1. Calm Before the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> There are a few things in this fic that are not canonical to Sanders Sides. Here is the timeline and information you need to know prior to reading this fic.
> 
> Timeline:  
> -Janus is immediately accepted after POF  
> -Remus is accepted 3 months later  
> -5 months after SVS, Thomas meets and OC named Jacob Smith  
> -After knowing each other for a month, Thomas and Jacob start dating  
> -This takes place on Thomas and Jacob’s one-year anniversary
> 
> Background Info:  
> All of the sides had a different function when first created. That function evolved as Thomas grew up  
> -Fear  
> -Protection  
> -Creativity (just 1)  
> -Thought  
> -Trust
> 
> The amount of power a side has is determined by how much power Thomas gives them. For example, when Thomas is acting or recording a video, Roman gets a brief surge of power.  
> These surges in power allow a side to heavily influence Thomas’ decision making. They can also gain power through the other sides performing their function. For example, if Patton thinks out a problem logically, Logan will gain power.
> 
> The sides were not all formed at the same time. This information is not necessary to know but it is mentioned multiple times
> 
> That's all you need to know for now. Feel free to leave any suggestions or questions down in the comments. I hope you enjoy this fic!

_ Beep! Beep! Beep! _

Virgil jumped, falling off his bed. He groaned, rubbing his side as he got up. The sound of Thomas’ alarm clock in the real world had given him a quick surge of energy, but the fall kind of ruined that. He sent a small amount of anxiety to Thomas.  _ ‘You’re gonna sleep through your alarm if you don’t get up  _ **_now_ ** _.’  _ Virgil smirked as Thomas grumbled and sat up, turning off his alarm. Virgil quickly changed into his usual outfit. He then went through his normal morning routine (brush his teeth, fix his eyeshadow, brush his hair) before checking himself one last time in the mirror. Even though he was only interacting with the other sides today, he was still anxious (as always) about his appearance. Virgil used his hand to pat his hair down before sighing.  _ This is as good as it’ll get, I guess.  _ With that, Virgil stepped out of his room-

“Oomph!” And landed right on the floor. He winced at the  _ thud  _ as his head hit the carpet of the hallway. Sadly, this wasn’t the first time someone had run into Virgil the moment he stepped out of his room. He had almost come to accept it at this point: another panic-inducing event to add to his routine. Virgil heard the person on his chest giggle, and he suddenly smelt their familiar yet unpleasant scent.

Virgil sighed without opening his eyes. “Remus, why were you running in the house? I thought you were told not to do it?”

Remus giggled again, bouncing lightly on Virgil’s chest. “It’s breakfast time, that’s why! Daddy-O made pancakes!” He put his hands on Virgil’s chest to push himself off. “Let’s go, Virgey!”

Virgil snorted. “Virgey?  _ That’s  _ the best you’ve got?”

Remus scoffed. “Well I’m  _ sorry,  _ would you like a better one? Like LA Emotee? Or Virgilicious? Or perhaps my Paranoid-”

Virgil suddenly tensed underneath Remus. He tried to force the memories down.

_ *“What’s wrong,  _ **_my Paranoid Playmate?_ ** _ Can’t take the heat?”* _

“Virgil? What’s wrong?”

Virgil shuddered, screwing his eyes shut.  _ “Please  _ don’t call me that.” He tried to force himself to relax, knowing that  _ Remus would notice and use it against him and- _

“Alright.”

Virgil jumped slightly, opening his eyes. He looked up at Remus who was suddenly much more serious. “What?”

Remus tilted his head, giving Virgil his version of a soft smile. His teeth were too sharp for the smile to be ‘soft,’ but it still comforted Virgil. “You don’t want me to call you the P-word, so I won’t.” Remus started giggling under his breath. “Penis.” He pushed lightly on Virgil’s chest, using the momentum to push himself off of Virgil. If he noticed the way Virgil flinched at the nickname, he didn’t mention it. He held a hand out for Virgil to take. “C’mon, Emo! Pancakes await!”

Virgil stared at the hand for a moment, shocked that Remus would let it slide so easily. He was even more surprised when Remus didn’t get impatient, still holding out his hand for Virgil. Virgil grabbed the hand with the tips of his fingers, mainly using his other arm to hoist himself up. If Remus noticed, he still didn’t comment. Instead, he smiled his usual deranged smile. With one last giggle, he grabbed the edge of Virgil’s hoodie sleeve and led them downstairs. Virgil nearly sighed with relief, glad that Remus didn’t try and grab him by the hand. Virgil was  _ not  _ in the right headspace for skin-on-skin contact.

As they entered the kitchen, Virgil was surprised to see everyone up and ready to eat. Usually, only Virgil and Patton (and sometimes Remus) were up  _ this  _ early.  _ Is there something going on today? _

“I’m back! And I brought Mr. Bedhead!” Virgil’s hands immediately went to his head while the others let out a chorus of _hello_ s and _good morning_ s _._ Once Virgil was sure that his hair wasn’t actually ruined, he playfully glared at Remus. Remus only giggled in response, skipping over to his seat at the table.

Virgil huffed, taking his seat between Roman and Janus. Roman was practically bouncing in his chair, stuffing his face like this meal was his last. Virgil sighed. “Okay, what’s going on? You normally don’t have this level of-” he gestured towards Roman “ _ extra  _ until at least 10. Is there something I’m forgetting?”

Roman started gesturing with his hands, almost choking on his pancake in his haste to get the message across. Virgil turned to Patton, who had just sat down. “Today’s our one-year anniversary!” He squealed out, flapping his hands excitedly.

Virgil tilted his head. “One-year anniversary? Anniversary of wha- oh.” Virgil cut himself off, suddenly remembering.  _ “Jacob.”  _ Patton, Roman, and Remus all squealed at the name.

Jacob Smith. Thomas’ boyfriend of 12 months. Virgil had been so busy adjusting to Janus and Remus’ acceptance, he hadn’t even realized how much time had passed.  _ Has it really been 12 months since Jacob asked Thomas out? Oh shit, aren’t they having dinner tonight, to celebrate? What if Thomas is late? Or he says the wrong thing. Shit, did he have a gift for Jacob? Are they supposed to exchange gifts? What if Thomas doesn’t like Jacob’s gift?  _ **_What if-_ **

A hand on Virgil’s shoulder jerked him out of his thoughts. He turned to look at Janus, ignoring the impulse to push away the gloved hand. “Virgil,” Janus said slowly (but not condescendingly. He didn’t do that. Not anymore). “The others are going to be quite busy today.” His voice was calm and even, and Virgil felt something similar to pride stir within him. Before he was fully accepted by Thomas, Janus had struggled to speak truthfully unless he was emotional or vague. But over these past 18 months, Janus had slowly but surely worked to be more honest with the other sides, knowing how much his lies upset them. (He was almost as honest as he was back when he was just Protection, not Deceit.  _ Damn it, why am I so focused on the past today? _ ) Virgil mentally shook his head, trying to focus on what Janus was saying. “Would you be able to assist me today? I’ve been wanting to reorganize my library for a while now.” Virgil nodded, glad to have a distraction. The rest of the meal passed in silence, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. Everyone was ready to start their day, wanting to make today perfect for Thomas and Jacob. Even though Jacob knew nothing about the sides, he had helped Thomas immensely with accepting all sides of himself. Each side had a unique memory with Jacob that they cherished greatly. Virgil’s was when Jacob helped them through an anxiety attack. Even though he was comforting  _ Thomas,  _ not Virgil, the memory still made his heart skip a beat.

Once breakfast was cleaned up, everyone quickly split up. Well, it was less  _ splitting up  _ and more  _ Janus and Virgil leaving the others to their collective chaos.  _ Roman and Remus were planning what Thomas would say for his ‘spectacular anniversary speech,’ while Patton and Logan offered input and constructive criticism.

Virgil followed Janus upstairs, stopping in his room to grab his headphones. Virgil hesitated when they reached the yellow door. It was still weird to see it in full color. The door had been there since Janus was first created, but the doors only gain color once Thomas has accepted the side. Janus walked through the doorway, never breaking his stride. That was one thing Virgil appreciated about Janus: he never pressed for answers. Janus and Virgil were the two oldest sides (Patton being a close third) and they were extremely close before King Creativity’s split. Even now, years after the split, Janus probably knew exactly what Virgil was thinking. He didn’t need clarification, and he didn’t force Virgil to admit things that he’d rather not say aloud. Not anymore. Virgil was immensely grateful to Thomas for accepting Janus. Virgil had  _ despised  _ Deceit; he was a manipulative bastard hiding in the skin of Virgil’s best friend.  _ Janus,  _ however…

Janus handed Virgil a book. Virgil blinked; he didn’t even realize that he had entered the room. He read the title of the book.  _ Grimm’s Fairy Tales.  _ Virgil glanced back at Janus, who silently gestured to the bed. Virgil smiled, heading over to the bed.  _ Janus is nice. He’s not Protection, but he doesn’t need to be. Thomas doesn’t need Protection. He needs Janus.  _ Virgil flipped to the first story.  _ I’ll never get Protection back, and Janus will never get Fear back. But we’ve got each other, and that’s good enough. _

* * *

Virgil was about half-way through the book when lunch rolled around. Virgil made note of what story he was on before closing the book. He left the book on the bed, knowing that he would be back there soon. Lunch was a little more hectic than breakfast, with Patton and Logan forcing the twins to take a break and eat. They grumbled throughout the entire meal, knowing that ‘the quicker we eat the sooner we get back to work’ wouldn’t work on Patton (who would see ‘eating quickly’ as ‘wanting more food’) or Logan (who would still make them take a mandatory 20-minute break). It took all of Virgil’s willpower to not laugh when they started complaining in different languages (Roman in Spanish and Remus in French). As soon as lunch was over, Remus and Roman darted upstairs, Logan and Patton hot on their heels. Janus headed to his room at a more leisurely pace. Virgil double-checked that the kitchen was cleaned up before going to his own room.

Virgil locked his door, not wanting to be interrupted. The others knew not to bother him right after lunch, but Virgil was still paranoid. He went over to his desk and pulled out a small notebook. It had an infinite number of pages, and was a gift from Logan. Virgil struggled with verbalizing (or even acknowledging) his personal feelings and fears (it was so much easier to point out Thomas’ fears. As long as the fear was not subconscious, Virgil always knew what Thomas feared). The Logical side had suggested writing his thoughts and feelings down when they got intense. After a while, writing down what he was feeling became therapeutic and habitual. Virgil now likes to take a few minutes out of his day to write down whatever’s on his mind. Today was no different.

_ Entry #436 _

_ I’ve been spacing out all day. Usually it’s because I’m worrying about Thomas. Instead, I keep thinking about the past. And not even recent past, like when Janus and Remus weren’t accepted. No, instead I’m thinking about  _ **_way_ ** _ back. Back before the split. When Janus was Protection, and Logan was Thought, and Patton was Trust. Back when King was still around. Why can’t I stop thinking about it? There are so many other times to remember! Like how it’s been over 18 months since Janus was accepted, or 15 months since Remus was accepted. Or Thomas’ anniversary with Jacob! They’ve been together for a whole year now. We’ve known Jacob for 13 months now. It feels surreal, how quickly time has flown by. I still feel like I’ll wake up and it’ll all be a dream. Or I’ll say something at dinner and realize it’s all one elaborate prank. _

_ Speaking of worries, I’ve been getting more surges in power lately. If it were literally any other side, it would be okay. But surges of Anxiety mean that something’s gonna happen. But I can’t figure out  _ **_what._ ** _ There’s literally nothing wrong with Thomas’ life right now. Since I can’t tell what it is, the anxiety must be on a subconscious level. But what’s been going on to make Thomas subconsciously anxious? The sides are really busy today, so if the surges are still there tomorrow, I’ll bring it up. These guys deserve to celebrate Thomas’ anniversary without my issues ruining things. It’s the least I could do. _

_I’m really glad that everyone is finally getting along. Remus and Roman have a much better relationship with each other. Remus has stopped acting violently, and Roman now has more confidence in himself. They’ve actually just been kinder to everyone. Sure, they still use teasing nicknames and light punches to the arm. But Roman doesn’t get upset with me anymore, and Remus doesn’t use my fears against me. It feels… nice, to have a good relationship with them._ _Sure, I thought I had an alright relationship with King, but King wasn’t a good side, so it doesn’t count._ _It’s also nice to have a good relationship with Janus again. But I keep accidentally comparing ‘New Janus’ to ‘Protection Janus.’ I know it’s not his fault that he became Deceit, but it still hurts. At least he’s making an effort to stop lying. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be; deceit isn’t an emotion, it’s an action. I feel anxious all of the time, but I don’t have to ACT anxious. Janus HAS to act deceitful, but he tries his best to be the exact opposite. For us._

_ I’m gonna read in Janus’ room until Thomas’ anniversary dinner tonight. I really hope that this feeling is only pre-event anxiety, and not something serious. _

* * *

Virgil bit his lip as he sat on the couch. Roman, Patton and Remus were at the forefront of Thomas’ mind, helping him through his date. Virgil, Logan and Janus weren’t needed at the moment, so they were in the living room, watching the date play out. Virgil watched with exasperated fondness as Thomas and Jacob used their spaghetti to reenact the kissing scene from  _ Lady and the Tramp.  _ Thomas was hopelessly in love. There was almost nothing that could ruin this moment-

Jacob suddenly stood up, gesturing for Thomas to do the same. They stood there for a moment in Jacob’s living room. Jacob seemed to be building up his confidence for something, and Virgil started to grow tense.  _ Why is he nervous? He’s never acted this nervous before. Just seeing Jacob be nervous is making Thomas nervous and we’re not  _ **_ready-_ **

Jacob suddenly dropped to one knee. Every side- and Thomas- held their breath as Jacob pulled a little black box out of his pocket. Jacob was saying something, but no one could understand it. Everyone’s thoughts were in different directions. There were mixed feelings of joy and fear; before everyone thought the same thing. Everyone sent the same thought to Thomas, though Virgil wouldn’t be surprised if his voice was the loudest: ‘ **_We’re not ready to get married!’_ **

Virgil was tense as Logan moved to the front of the mind. Jacob was suddenly shouting, but Virgil couldn’t hear it over the ringing in his ears. Virgil flinched as a hand was put on his shoulder and he sunk out. He popped back up in his room with Janus, who was slowly rubbing circles between his shoulder blades. “I believe it would be best if we don’t interfere.” Janus murmured. “Try and get some sleep, Virgil. We’ll reconvene in the morning.” Virgil nodded, trying to fall asleep. Janus sunk out of Virgil’s room, presumably to his own room. Virgil groaned as the pain in his chest grew stronger. His lungs felt like they were on fire, and every heartbeat felt like someone was stabbing his chest. Virgil eventually passed out to the pain.


	2. Manipulative Snake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the tags! Bad stuff happens. I'm updating the tags as I go so it would be best to check the tags before you read each chapter. There's also another lore-bit that I added to the series, but I think I explained it well enough in this chapter. If you need a better explanation, let me know and I'll explain it to the best of my ability

Virgil woke up to a world of pain. He felt like he was on fire as he kicked his blanket off. Every last joint in his body ached and he felt pain with every heartbeat. He slowly sat up and winced as the room started spinning.  _ What happened?  _ Virgil sat there for several minutes, hoping that the pain would go away. His skin felt too tight and he whimpered at the pain when he breathed too deeply. He’d only felt this amount of pain once, back when he started showing physical changes as he grew from Fear to Anxiety. But back then it had felt  _ cold,  _ like he was freezing from the inside out. That cold feeling was why he liked to wear oversized hoodies, so that he could always have some amount of warmth. The chill had clung to him for years, only fully going away after the Accepting Anxiety video.

This time, it felt like Virgil was _ on fire _ . Virgil took off his hoodie, noticing how he didn’t sweat, even though he was so hot. He slowly got to his feet, ignoring the way his stomach lurched, and made his way to the bathroom. He quickly stripped out of his clothes and turned on the shower. The freezing cold water turned lukewarm as soon as it touched his skin, but Virgil still sighed in relief. Now that the pain was relieved slightly, Virgil could focus on the problems at hand.

The main problem was quickly discovered as Virgil tried to summon a bottle of ice water and nearly passed out in the shower. Virgil’s emotional power supply was extremely low. There are two types of power: emotional and mental. Emotional power was caused by Thomas (or other sides) using a side’s function in an emotional sense. If Thomas felt fear, Virgil had emotional power. Emotional power gave the sides the ability to conjure items, manipulate the world around them, and influence the majority of Thomas’ decision making. Mental power was caused by a side’s function being used in a mental sense. If Thomas was acknowledging his fears or thinking about worst-case scenarios, Virgil had mental power. Mental power allowed a side to think more calmly and rationally, while also allowing them to easily manipulate other sides. Some sides were more based on one power than another. Logan and Remus are mentally powered. That’s why Logic can be easily ignored by Thomas and why the Duke loses most of his power once Patton and Virgil stop fearing him. Patton and Roman are emotionally based, which is why they consume the majority of Thomas’ personality. Janus and Virgil are split directly down the middle; 50% emotion and 50% mental. It’s the reason why Janus had such an easy time manipulating both Thomas and the other sides.

This wasn’t the first time Virgil had a low power supply. He had almost no power when he decided to duck out. But at the time, Virgil didn’t have  _ any  _ power. Virgil clearly has mental power right now; in fact, Virgil is really surprised by how calm and rational he’s being right now. And yet he doesn’t even have enough emotional power to summon a glass of water? That can’t be good.

After another 10 minutes of standing under the cold water, Virgil mentally went over the checklist of what he needed to do. This wasn’t the first time something odd had happened in the mindscape, and in previous cases, Virgil sounded many unnecessary false-alarms. To help prevent that, Logan and Janus helped Virgil create a simple checklist for Virgil to use when he thought that there was an issue in the mindscape.

Step 1: Check-in on each side to make sure they aren’t in danger. Most of these issues targeted more than one side and didn’t need Thomas’ assistance to be fixed. If there is any immediate danger, seek out either Logan or Janus (or any available side) to help fix the problem. If there is an issue that doesn’t require immediate attention, get a full analysis of the situation before bringing it up to Logan, Janus, or Thomas.

Step 2: Go over Thomas’ memories of the past 24 hours. If the issue isn’t prevalent with the other sides like it is with Virgil, it is most likely a subconscious issue. It would be best to try and understand the problem before confronting Thomas.

Step 3: If the issue is detrimental to Thomas’ overall wellbeing confront him with the issue. If the issue is not detrimental, analyze the situation and return to the issue at a later date.

Once Virgil was out of the shower, he changed into a loose pair of sleep pants and an even looser t-shirt. He was too hot, tired, and in pain to feel self-conscious at the moment. He didn’t bother with his hair and makeup. Virgil sat in the center of his bed and began to meditate. One of the advantages of having Anxiety as his function meant that he had ‘eyes on the back of his head.’ It wasn’t literal, but it meant that Virgil could see anywhere in the mindscape when his eyes were closed.

Now to complete Step 1. Virgil scanned the common areas for any signs of life, and was surprised to not find any. Virgil had woken up late today, so everyone should be at least out of there rooms by this point. Virgil adjusted his view towards the main hallway and nearly broke from his trance in shock.

All of the doors were completely gray. But that made no sense. The Light Side’s doors had always been colored, and the Dark Sides had earned their colors when they were accepted. The doors had never  _ lost their color  _ before. Now that most of the doors were identical, Virgil had to try and remember what door belonged to each side. The door closest to the stairs was Virgil’s. The doors were all on the same wall as they’d always been, ignoring logical understanding by being placed closer together than what was physically possible due to the rooms’ sizes. There should be eight rooms in the same order they’ve always been in.  _ My room, Janus’, Patton’s, Logan’s, Roman’s, Remus’, the entrance to the Imagination, and the entrance to Thomas’ living room in the real world. Wait a minute.  _ Virgil recounted the doors as a pit formed in his stomach.

There were only seven doors. The last two doors were designed differently to show that they weren’t entrances to a side’s room. They even had dust collecting around the doorknobs, since the sides usually rise up into the Imagination or the real world. That meant that there were only five sides.  _ What happened? _

Virgil quickly moved his gaze to the first room, just to make sure that it was his own bedroom. His vision showed himself meditating on the bed.  _ I should’ve checked the mirror this morning. I look like shit.  _ Virgil’s skin was sickly pale, and he seemed smaller than normal.  _ Can a side’s height actually change?  _ Virgil brushed away the thought. He needed to focus. He carefully adjusted his view to Janus’ room.

_ Holy shit.  _ Janus’ room was a mess. Virgil had never seen the place in such a state of disarray. He tried to spot Janus but didn’t immediately see anything. Just as Virgil was going to check Patton’s room, he noticed the pile of blankets in the corner shift. He honed in on the blankets, quickly realizing that Janus was under there.  _ Wait a minute, is that blood?  _ Virgil had thought that the white sheets were just decorated, but it was now obvious that the blankets were freshly stained with someone’s blood.

Virgil quickly snapped out of his trance, ignoring the headache he got from the sudden change in vision. Virgil quickly got out of bed, ignoring the way his muscles protested. He ran out of the room, not even noticing that he left his door open as he ran towards Janus’ room. He tried to open the door and growled when it didn’t budge. Rather than knocking on the door, Virgil sunk out of the hallway and popped up into Janus’ room.

Virgil barely stopped himself from landing face-first on the ground. Just popping up into Janus’ room had taken most of his power. He looked over at the pile of bloody blankets, which had started to shift more aggressively. “Janus?” The blankets stopped completely. Virgil wouldn’t be surprised if Janus had stopped breathing. A pang of guilt accompanied the pure bliss Virgil felt as Janus’ anxiety flooded his veins. Sure, it wasn’t as strong as the power Thomas’ fear would have given Virgil, but it was enough to make Virgil almost sigh in relief. Virgil forced himself to ignore the sensation as he took a step towards Janus. “Hey, it’s okay. Whatever’s going on, we’ll figure it out, okay Janus?”

“YES!” Janus suddenly screamed, probably realizing how close Virgil had gotten. “COME CLOSER!” He tightened the blankets around himself, and Virgil watched as fresh blood stained the blankets. “STAY HERE!”

Virgil frowned at the very obvious lies. Janus had been working very hard towards not lying to the other sides. And even before that, Janus tended to be unable to lie when he was extremely emotional. So what was going on?

Virgil knelt in front of Janus, ignoring the way Janus flinched away. “Janus.” He spoke softly, keeping his tone even. “You can trust me. I won’t hurt you, I swear. We’re gonna get through whatever this is, okay?” Janus shuddered before the blanket went lax. Virgil took that as his cue to remove the blanket, and he nearly screamed.

Janus was naked from the waist up, and every last inch of him was covered in scales. There appeared to be no human skin anywhere. There were even tiny scales in his ears and in his scalp. Both of his eyes were yellow with slitted pupils. Janus bit his lip, and Virgil’s eyes immediately went to the fangs poking out.

But the most unsettling part was the scratches. Janus’ fingernails were sharpened to resemble claws, and he obviously disliked the scales. There were trails of blood all over him. His arms and face had the most scratches, though his torso was close behind in terms of severity. Virgil noted that his neck was actually bruised, with smaller scratches around his collarbones. As if he had tried to choke himself.

Virgil took a shaky breath, trying to ignore both Janus’ anxiety and his own. Virgil used the new source of energy to conjure a first aid kit. “What happened, Janus?” Janus flinched, instinctively going to scratch his arms. Virgil gently grabbed his wrists with one hand, using the other to disinfect his right arm. “Did this happen this morning?”

Janus whimpered at the burning sensation. “Yes.” He whimpered again. “Yes, YES, YES! YES!” Janus started screaming the word, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Virgil used his thumb to wipe away the tears. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Janus was sobbing by that point. Virgil continued to tend to Janus’ wounds, constantly repeating the mantra of “it’s okay.” Once Janus had calmed down, Virgil tested a theory he had. “Janus, what’s my name?”

Janus whimpered again. “Theodore.”

Virgil nodded. “I’m gonna guess that you can’t tell the truth right now.”  _ Does it only apply to speech?  _ “Janus, I need you to shake your head yes or no. Is my name Virgil?” Janus sobbed as he shook his head no. Virgil finished wrapping Janus’ arms and moved to bandage his chest. “Okay, so you can’t tell the truth at all, verbally or nonverbally. So you said this  _ didn’t  _ start this morning. Did it happen last night?” Janus shook his head no.  _ Yes.  _ “Okay, it probably happened while I was asleep. Do you know what’s going on?” He shook his head no again.  _ So he does know. Usually he can pull off heavy sarcasm to get around lying, but I don’t think it’ll work this time.  _ “Do you think whatever happened would show up in Thomas’ memories?” Again, Janus shook his head no. “Okay, as soon as I’m done patching you up, I’m going to check Thomas’ memories. We’re gonna fix this, I promise.”

Once Janus was completely bandaged and fully calm, Virgil sat down and accessed Thomas’ memories. Virgil was still running low on power (despite the amount of fear Janus exerted a few minutes ago) so it took a few tries to get to last night’s memories. He skipped through the memories that he recognized, only stopping once he reached the part where Jacob proposed. The memory was distorted, mainly because Thomas was extremely emotional at the time and more focused on his own thoughts. Only a little bit of what Jacob said came through, and those parts seemed to echo, meaning that Thomas probably focused on those words long after the fight. It was mainly insults and offhand comments, but Virgil could tell why they were remembered.

_ “Manipulative snake” _

_ “Immoral bastard” _

_ “Emotionless robot” _

_ “There’s nothing good about you” _

_ “Crybaby” _

_ “You’re an awful person” _

_ “The world would be so much better without you” _

It wasn’t until Virgil left the memory that he realized that he was crying. Jacob had meant  _ everything  _ to Thomas. To hear him say those things… it  _ hurt.  _ It made his lungs burn and his heart shatter. Virgil knew that Thomas wasn’t in the wrong. They had only been dating for a year. They had never discussed marriage before this, and Jacob shouldn't have gotten so upset. But it was still soul-crushing to hear Jacob say those things.

It was quite obvious as to what had happened now. Thomas was told that he’s a bad person. Since he was emotionally (and logically, and  _ everything-ly)  _ vulnerable at the time, Thomas believed it to be true. Since he thinks that he’s a  _ “manipulative snake,”  _ Janus was forced to transform to match Thomas’ beliefs. Virgil assumed that it’s the  _ “crybaby”  _ comment that’s affecting his powers right now, but it’s obviously not affecting him fully, if Janus’ transformation is anything to go off of. Maybe because Thomas fully understands how essential Virgil is from the Accepting Anxiety videos? Or maybe because Virgil was asleep so he didn’t get the full effects?

Virgil shook his head. Now wasn’t the time to worry about the mechanics of this. He turned back to Janus, who had returned to hiding under the blankets. “Have you seen anyone else?”

“Yess.”  _ So neither of us have seen anyone else, and I don’t think I have enough energy to try and spy on the others right now.  _ Janus had started whimpering again, rocking back and forth. “I wanted this. I wanted this to happen. This is someone else’s fault.”

Virgil did his best to comfort Janus. “It’s not your fault. We were all vulnerable last night and Jacob targeted all of our personal fears.” He sighed. “Okay, we need to plan. Since Logan didn’t call for a group meeting, I’m going to assume that he’s in a similar position as you. Same for Patton and the twins-” Virgil suddenly gasped. “Janus, we’re missing a door.”

Janus peeked out from behind the blankets. “I know exactly what you’re talking about.”

“When I was in my room, I was searching for people using my ‘eyes on the back of my head’ thing. That’s how I knew you were in here. But when I checked the hallway, there were 5 grey doors, not counting the entrances to the Imagination or the real world. We’re missing a side’s door.” Virgil felt his stomach do summersaults as he realized the implications. “He’s back.”

Janus started nodding his head. “But he’s been alive and healthy for years!”

Virgil stood up and started pacing. “What else could’ve happened? Either  _ he’s _ back or someone-” Virgil shook his head. “He has to be back.”

Virgil resumed his pacing, a plan forming in his head. “I’ll confront Thomas immediately. Hopefully, we can come to a peaceful solution like we usually do. Can you summon my notebook?” A few seconds later, Virgil's journal and a pen appeared in his hand. “Thanks.” Virgil started to write as he talked. “Thomas will probably react negatively if he sees you like this, especially since you can’t tell the truth right now, so I’ll have to confront him on my own. If all goes well, we’ll be back to normal before the day’s done. If not…” Virgil trailed off for a moment, lost in thought. Janus coughed slightly, pulling Virgil out of his trance. “Sorry! If not, we’ll have to find an alternative solution. I’ll talk to each of the sides and get their input on the situation. We know for a fact that ⅓ of Thomas’ personality isn’t okay with this, so either there’s a power imbalance or the others need persuasion.” Virgil stopped writing and pocketed his journal. “I’ll come back as quickly as I can. We’ll fix this.” Virgil looked over at Janus and his blood went cold (despite the fact that his skin still felt like it was still on fire).

Janus had unwrapped the bandages on his arms and was scratching himself again. His arms were covered in blood as he attempted to remove all the scales. Virgil quickly ran over to him and grabbed his hands. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Janus didn’t respond, his eyes glossed over as he attempted to scratch himself through Virgil’s grip. Virgil felt Janus’ fear course through him, and at the moment he did the only thing he could do.

**_“Janus STOP!”_ ** Janus immediately stopped moving, the command binding him in place. Virgil hated using his Tempest Tongue, but he had to. When he gave a direct command, it took extreme effort to disobey (it also took extreme effort to give a command, but Virgil would do anything to stop Janus from hurting himself further).  **_“You will no longer injure your scales. You will not leave this room until this issue is over. You will stay here and refrain from scratching yourself.”_ ** Janus shuddered but obeyed, his arms going limp in Virgil’s hold. Virgil felt lightheaded as his rebandaged Janus’ arms. “I’m sorry, J.” He whispered, getting up to walk out of the room. Virgil then remembered that the door was locked, and took a deep breath as he used his remaining energy to sink out of the room.

It was time to confront Thomas.


	3. "There's nothing good about you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this chapter early because it's shorter than usual. This will probably be the shortest chapter in this series. The next chapter will be much longer, I promise :)

Virgil shuddered as he appeared on the stairs in Thomas’ living room. It was always uncomfortable to appear in the real world. Normally, it felt like he was underwater, with a small amount of pressure on every inch of his skin. Now, with his energy depleted and his skin feeling like it’s on fire? It felt like Virgil was  _ drowning  _ in pure lava _.  _ Virgil ignored the painful sensation as he explored the house. He’d appeared in the living room, which meant that Thomas was somewhere in the house. Every step he took required extreme effort, and Virgil silently prayed that they could get this over with soon.

Thomas was actually still asleep. Virgil was surprised. It was odd for the sides to be awake before Thomas, unless he had dreams or nightmares. Virgil glanced over at Thomas’ phone, and noticed several texts from Thomas’ friends. Virgil made sure to send out a text to each of Thomas’ friends, simply telling them about the breakup and that he needed a few days to himself. While Virgil hoped that it would only take a day to change the sides back to normal, he knew that the lasting effects would take a few days to go over. While he was at it, Virgil made sure to post on all of Thomas’ social media accounts about his ‘week-long break from social media.’ He didn’t want this breakup to ruin Thomas’ entire career. Just as he finished typing the last post, Thomas stirred.

Virgil made sure to keep his voice low. “Hey, Thomas.” He ignored the way his lungs burned from speaking. Thomas sighed, but gave no other acknowledgment that he’d heard Virgil. Virgil tried again. “Thomas, time to get up.”

“What’s the point?” Virgil blinked, shocked my Thomas’ tone. Even this early in the morning, Thomas usually had some minuscule amount of emotion in his voice. But now it was so… empty. Like he’d been replaced with an apathetic version of himself. “I’m gonna lay here forever.”

Virgil winced. “You’ll get bed sores.”

Thomas responded in the same emotionless tone. “I know and I don’t care.”

Virgil nodded, having expected that. Thomas was still thinking anxious thoughts, but he’s feeling to numb to actually  _ feel  _ anxious. Which wasn’t a good thing, but it meant that Virgil had a good grasp of what was going on. “Well, let’s summon the others and see what they think. We can go over the problem like we always do-”

“No.”

Virgil’s head snapped over to Thomas, who still hadn’t opened his eyes. “What?”

“I don’t need the others. I don’t need you. There isn’t a problem.”

Virgil was getting nervous by this point. Virgil didn’t even have enough strength to make Thomas get out of bed like he did every morning. But even if Virgil didn’t have enough strength to do so, there should’ve been  _ someone  _ else to convince him. A new idea, a question that needed answers, a desire to see his friends. This was bad. If Thomas wanted to lay in bed forever, Virgil couldn’t stop him while he was too weak to even summon things. He’d have to convince him verbally. “There _ is _ a problem Thomas. The entire mindscape is in shambles-”

“I don’t care.”

Virgil ignored the way the pressure on his skin increased.  _ He’s not scared. Not of consequences, not of the future. Not of  _ **_me._ ** _ He doesn’t care about anything, and I don’t have any power to convince him otherwise.  _ “You need to care, Thomas. It’s  _ your  _ mind.” Virgil sighed. “Look, I know you’re still upset from last night. But Jacob was wrong-”

“No, he wasn’t!” Virgil’s eyes went wide as the pressure continued to increase. It was now centering around his throat, and dark spots danced across his vision as he struggled to breathe. Thomas continued, as if he didn’t notice Virgil dying right in front of him. Or maybe he did, and he just didn’t care. “I’ve never been a good person! I’ve always known, deep down, but I kept lying to myself. But Jacob knew how awful I am, and yet he  _ still  _ gave me the chance to be happy with him. And all I did was hurt him! Because of  _ you!”  _ Virgil went to say something, but the pressure around his neck increase. It felt like a fist around his neck, pulling him deeper into death’s embrace.  _ “It’s because of you and the other sides that I’m like this now! I’m going to lie here forever like the awful person I am and there’s nothing you can do about it!”  _

Virgil felt the fist suddenly pull  _ down  _ and he let himself sink out of the room. He landed in the common area in the mindscape with a dull  _ thud.  _ He gasped as the pressure on his skin disappeared and the fire under his skin returned with a  _ vengeance.  _ Virgil let out a silent scream as the pain consumed all of his senses. Something touched his shoulder and the pain became unbearably  _ worse.  _ Virgil was barely able to make out a few of the words he heard as he passed out from the pain.

_ “...looking for you… got you… won’t let go… -eep well, Kiddo.” _


	4. Immoral Bastard (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil wakes up in Patton’s room. Virgil tries to fix the situation, but Patton won’t let Virgil go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that it took two weeks to upload this, and that this chapter is so short. I realized that while I have all of the plot points written down, I never really fleshed out the characters. This worked for Janus and Thomas, because Thomas isn't extremely important and Janus gains importance near the end. But Patton is a very important character, and I need more time to give him the personality and characterization that he deserves. I hope you understand :)

Virgil spent a long time hopping in and out of consciousness, having lost most of his strength from his fight with Thomas. He couldn’t tell when he was awake and when he was asleep; his dreams were filled with unwanted memories, occasionally interrupted by the sounds of soft lullabies.

**_“Come on, my Paranoid Playmate. It’s playtime!”_ **

_ “When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall” _

**_“Fear, stop enabling him. Thomas does not deserve these awful nightmares!”_ **

_ “Lay thee down now and rest” _

**_“If we can’t fix this, maybe we have to fix you!”_ **

_ “Morning bells are ringing, Morning bells are ringing” _

When Virgil fully woke up, he felt almost crushed by the mountain of blankets on top of him. This just made his too-hot skin feel even worse. Virgil immediately tried to push the blankets off of him, but they somehow became  _ tighter? What the hell’s going on? _

“Good morning, Kiddo!” Virgil’s eyes snapped open. There, at the end of the bed, was a figure that resembled Patton. But something was  _ off.  _ He was extremely pale. In fact, all of his colors were muted. Hair, skin, clothes, etc. It looked like someone had stuck him in the washer a dozen times. He looked taller than usual (but that could still be because Virgil’s feeling smaller than usual) and there was something else that Virgil just couldn’t put into words. The Patton look-alike started speaking again. “Oh, I was  _ so  _ worried when you weren’t in your room yesterday. But don’t worry, Daddy will take care of you now! We can play games and snuggle and watch TV- oh, are you hungry?” Virgil nodded, still slightly disoriented. “I’ll go make you some breakfast, okay? Don’t leave, I’ll be right back.” With that, Patton skipped out of the room.

Virgil let out a shaky breath. The air lightened considerably without Patton’s presence in the room. Virgil took a quick survey of the room. He was in a weird version of Patton’s room. Like Patton himself, everything in this room appeared more monochrome than normal. The air felt dead and stagnant, different from its usual nostalgic feeling. Virgil belatedly realized that the room wasn’t affecting him like it did during the  _ Moving On  _ episodes. Why wasn’t Virgil affected? Virgil almost spiraled into a full-blown panic attack every time he came here, mainly because of how poorly Morality and Anxiety’s powers mixed. Virgil wasn’t effected by Janus’ room, but that was expected. Self-preservation and Fight-or-Flight tend to work well together, even if the sides themselves don’t. So why was Patton’s room not affecting him? Virgil should be feeling at least  _ some  _ of Morality’s influence-

_ “Immoral Bastard!” _

It couldn’t be, could it? Thomas  _ needed  _ his Morality to be himself! Without Morality…

...Thomas wouldn’t behave like himself. He wouldn’t see a point in talking to others, or getting out of bed. He would behave just like he did this morning. Especially if Logan was in a similar state and if…  _ he  _ was back. But if Morality is gone, then Patton must be-

Patton walked back into the room, a too-wide smile on his face. “Hey, kiddo! Daddy’s back with some cereal!” He snapped his fingers, and suddenly the blankets around Virgil began pulling him in a new direction. He had little choice as he was forcibly moved into a sitting position. Patton skipped over to the bed, sitting on the end. “Now open wide so Daddy can give you nummies!”

Virgil decided to test his theory. “Hey Pa-” He noticed the way Patton’s expression darkened and immediately changed what he was going to say. “-pa. Papa.”

Patton’s expression immediately grew bright again. “What is it, Kiddo?”

Virgil tested his theory. “Can you make the blankets stop holding me? I promise I won’t leave!”

Patton smiled. “Of course, Kiddo!” He snapped his fingers, and the blankets immediately lost whatever possession-like qualities they’d had before. They were just like regular blankets. Virgil sighed as the loss of pressure made the heat under his skin a little more bearable. “I trust you! Now say aw!” Virgil let Patton feed him cereal, now knowing exactly what was wrong with Patton. He almost laughed at the irony as his heat spiked upwards.

While Janus had progressed into Deception, Patton had regressed into Trust.

And Virgil was regressing into Fear.


	5. Immoral Bastard (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil tries to get more information, but Patton has a few tricks up his sleeves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I think I said this before, but I'm saying it again. I update the tags with each chapter. So make sure you check the tags before reading the chapter. I also want to clarify that there will be no romantic or sexual relationships in this fic. Everyone has platonic or familial relations, and there will be no mentions or occurrences of romantic or sexual advances between any of these characters. That being said, there are a few parts that could be seen as rape/non-con elements, so read at your own risk.
> 
> Also, sorry this is taking so long to update! I actually have two reasons for that:  
> 1.) My personal life has basically fallen apart over the past 2 months, and I'm just now getting everything back together. Hopefully all of my fics will be getting regularly scheduled updates soon!  
> 2.) While I have most of the major plot points planned out, all of the build-up for them is still up in the air. That's also why these chapters are so short, so you can have at least SOME content while I plan for the future of this fic.

Virgil bit back the urge to scowl as Patton fed him breakfast. It was humiliating to be fed like a child, but Patton wouldn’t let Virgil feed himself. In fact, it was starting to look like Patton wouldn’t let Virgil do  _ anything  _ on his own. Every time Virgil even  _ thought  _ about getting up, Patton would convince him to settle back down. Virgil was pretty sure that the room was helping the fatherly figment out, or maybe it was just Virgil getting weaker as time went on, but every time he tried to resist Virgil felt his limbs get heavier and his mind grows fuzzier.  _ It feels like I’m underwater. Or like I’m filled to the brim with water. Like I’ve already let the water in and I’m too far gone to feel the pain.  _ **_Maybe Thomas is drowning and he just can’t tell because he’s too far gone for his lungs to burn-_ **

Virgil weakly shook his head, trying to dispel the thought. Thomas didn’t need him to worry about potentially drowning. He needed to focus on the problem at hand. And that problem couldn’t be solved until Virgil escaped.

A hand gently cupped his cheek and Virgil was surprised that he didn’t flinch. “What’s wrong baby?” Virgil tried to pull away in shock but some force held him in place.  _ Baby? Why the hell did he call me that? And why can’t I move? “Shhh _ , don’t fight it. Just  _ relax _ baby. Daddy will take care of you.” Virgil felt his panic build as his body involuntarily relaxed. He wanted to struggle and get away, his fight or flight responses kicking in. But all he could do was watch helplessly as Patton grabbed another spoonful of cereal. “Now, just  _ eat your cereal  _ like a good boy.”

Virgil felt his embarrassment rise to new levels as his mouth opened without his consent, unable to move beyond chewing and swallowing the cereal before his mouth opened automatically for another spoonful. This was so degrading and humiliating and  _ terrifying.  _ It immediately reminded Virgil of Thomas’ brief fear of hypnotism in highschool. Having his body act without his permission, unable to protest as he was essentially turned to clay in Patton’s hands, molded to whatever he saw fit. He already felt the room around him trying to affect his mind as well, a thick fog of compliance just along the horizon. But for the first time ever Virgil was lucky that he was the embodiment of Anxiety. It allowed him to stay alert and mentally fight against the room’s impulses, just as he usually did when entering Patton’s room. But this time he couldn’t fight physically as Patton’s newfound power controlled him from the inside out.

“There, all done!” Virgil glanced down at the bowl, shocked to see that it was already empty. He’d only taken a few bites, right? The fullness in his gut told a different story. Had he really been spacing out for that long? “You were out of it for a while, Baby. Is something on your mind?” Virgil felt his mouth relax and nearly sobbed in relief as he open and closed it on command. He quickly spoke before Patton could change his mind.

First, gather information. “What happened, Papa?” If the rest of his body wasn’t still fully (and forcefully) lax, he would’ve shuddered. Calling Patton ‘Papa’ almost made Virgil as uncomfortable as Patton calling him ‘Baby.’

Patton’s entire body seemed to stiffen up before he relaxed, giving Virgil a bright smile. “Nothing’s happened, Baby. Daddy’s just taking care of you like he always does.”

The fog on the edge of his mind suddenly crashed into him, overwhelming him with the urge to  _ trust trust trust.  _ Virgil was barely able to stop himself from caving in as his body moved on its own; smiling and nodding his head. “Okay Papa.”

Patton’s grin appeared to be dimmer, and it took Virgil’s muddled brain a second to realize that it was less tense. Less fake. “Good boy. You’re such a good baby, listening so well. Daddy should give you a reward.” He suddenly jumped up. “We could cuddle and watch some Nightmare Before Christmas!”

Virgil ignored the fake excitement that washed over him as a gasp was torn from his mouth. “Really?! Oh, thank you Papa!”

Patton smiled. “Anything for my little baby boy!” He suddenly started tutting. “My my, you must be so itchy in those clothes. Daddy will fix it!” Patton snapped his fingers and Virgil watched in horror as his normal outfit was forcibly changed into a lavender-colored onesie. He always felt uncomfortable when the others changed his clothes or appearance, but being unable to voice his uncomfortableness only increased it.

He was only able to silently recoil as his mouth formed a smile and he giggled. God, he was  _ giggling.  _ “Thank you Papa!” Patton didn’t respond, just snapping his fingers again. The blankets suddenly wrapped around him once more, picking him up and placing him on the couch in front of the TV. As the movie started, Patton sat next to Virgil, wrapping his arms around the anxious side’s shoulders. Virgil stopped paying attention by this point, accepting his current fate as he pondered the same question over and over.

_ Does Patton not remember being Morality? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for how short this chapter is. But things will get more interesting soon. So tune in next time, where we'll see some familiar (and not-so-familiar) faces


End file.
